I've been away a while working on myself. As a matter of fact, I spent last week fasting from all mental distraction including reading, movies, internet, TV, and music. So I certainly wasn't posting then. But my time off has been fruitful.
I've been working on my concepts of the structure of the mind including the left and right sides that I mentioned before. Part of this journey of realization brought me to the conclusion that my intellect and the products of it are not me or my identity.
Most people describe themselves as the product of what their mind has created. They also judge themselves by the ability of their intellect to do its job. Of course, because the vast majority of people's minds are running on reactive autopilot, they are also describing themselves as the byproduct of an out of control intellect.
What's more, most people label the thoughts running in their mind as themselves or as something they are creating. They are "their thoughts" that created their identity/personality. And because these reactive thoughts frequently come out as reactive talking, the words people used are also lumped together as part of their identity.
Yet the intellect is just a tool. For most people, it's also a tool that's has merely been reacting to material input since they were very young. So it's a tool that is being controlled by everything outside instead of the inner wielder. It's not us. It's not who we really are. Even its opinions and beliefs, the things most people hold dear, are not really us. They're just more conclusions the tool has come to in reaction to things people have told us or stories we've been fed by TV, media, and society.
The most efficient use of the tool is as a powerful calculator wielded by the higher, conscious mind to analyze its needs when manifesting its will. Otherwise it's just a tool of whatever sense data is being fed it, which is usually self destructive or limiting.
So now when I find my mind worrying about something or judging someone I remind myself that it's not the real me. And the train of thought slows and eventually stops because I am no longer willing to put effort into something that's not my choice or representative of what I want.
"Belief is Reality" is one of the most misunderstood parts of the Cult paradigm. Two points are usually missed in these discussions :
1. Beliefs, as the Cult talks about them, exist in our consciousness at a level deeper than mere assertion and often an assertion is mistaken for a belief.
The assertion "I believe in aliens." is statement about a belief, not the belief itself. The belief itself exists deeper than we can verbalize, though we can use language to change lightly held beliefs. In these cases language is only a tool, the action happens at a much deeper level.
2. "Belief is reality" isn't quite accurate. It's more accurate to say "belief structures and organizes our experience of reality."
If someone were to have a complete lack of beliefs, reality to them would be nothing at all. There would be no way for that person to even tell which way is up. "Up" would simply be percieved as one of the directions for which they do have structuring beliefs. For example, in some cultures 'up and forward' could exist as the same direction. Or, in another culture, the 'up' direction could be ignored altogether.
So, why is this important?
By restructuring our own beliefs, we 'reprogram' ourselves and thus our experience of reality in a useful way (rather than random way) to get more bang for our buck.
I’ve always felt that what we think, what we believe is what creates our reality. I believe that what we think, believe, feel and what we focus our will on is our reality. So my truth has been that: BELIEF= REALITY. Everyone lives in their own self created reality. What is true for me may not be true for you. And I also believe that humanity as a collective have agreed on a general accepted reality.
I have recently read someone suggest that belief is not reality. Reality or what we assume to be real is what creates our beliefs. Huh. The example that this individual gave to illustrate the concept was this: before I, CricketSong, can believe in a god I must allow for the existence of a higher being. Then my belief becomes a reflection of what I think is real. This concept gave me pause. On some level this rings true … sort of.
But would this then mean there is one “true” reality? Doesn’t this concept imply that there are those individuals who see the reality or truth and others who don’t – those who would then be living in delusion? And wouldn’t they then have beliefs based on lies? I mean, if there was one true reality. This does not ring true for me. Not at all.
So for me, until someone can explain that concept further I am comfortable with belief is reality.
I realised that reality isn't how i used to view it ; what we all know, feel, and persieve is NOT real. Because, as Cora'Sahn said in one of our live chats, Belief can manifest monsters. You only know of the boogeyman once you believe/disbelieve his existance; "seeing is believing" is honestly bullshit. Imagine the Eifel Tower... touch it, get into it, imagine a quiet dinner beside it.
Did that happen?
Did that happen in your reality? In your dreams? Yes.
Because i can remember just imagining it just like i can remember what i had for dinner last night - it's a "real" memory. Which makes you wonder what reality IS, and what it means.
I have come to the conclusion that reality is a sense. When you think about it, the only way that you know the computer screen propped in front of you is real is because you can see and feel it. But that, possibly, could be a deulusion. Everything could be.
The A:O are beyond human understanding. This is why they are described in such Eldritch weirdness by HP Lovecraft and other mythos writers. We can not see them as they truly are, we can not understand their language, and any contact with them in our material existence would drive us utterly mad.
Any Lovecraft fan is, at the very least, familiar with the A:O and the role they play in each of the stories; however do they truly understand what it would mean for humanity if they were to return from their dimensional prison? I've often been called insane for any attempt to awaken them, the A:O are seen as monsters which would devour humanity whole. This is only a half-truth. If the false reality were stripped away, we would see them as they truly are, understand their language fully and a new era of man would come to pass.
This flesh, this seemingly 'real' existence is the lie. The truth, is that all material can be reduced to atomic particles, and reduced again to energy, to light, and to infinity. If we could maintain consciousness in this state, death is but a dream. Cthulhu waits, dead but dreaming. Do people honestly believe their is a giant Octopus monster asleep in a forgotten city under the sea? Cthulhu represents so much more than any allegory we could fathom. Cthulhu is consciousness in waiting. We only need to find a WAY to pass through the void of our material lives into the realm of what if...A place without limits.
Cthulhu 2008, is but one example I could provide so you could relate to this idea. The storyline is a mixture of Lovecraft tales, but I believe it demonstrates a what if scenario.
Instead of the A:O returning, its the Shoggoths. If you remember the role of the Shoggoths in the stories, they learned the power of the A:O and then used it against the A:O to banish them from our world. What people believe to be the A:O are the Shoggoths in disguise. The story goes that with each new male child born, the grandfather dies. Later it is revealed that they have not died, but have gone 'into the sea' to live among the A:O. In reality, that which was man has become something more, immortal and when the Shoggoths return they bring with them the apocalypse - the end of an era. These dead men, are not dead at all, but live on for thousands of years in the sea. The very idea that there is a life-span at all, lends evidence to a 'false' A:O. The Old Gods defy all time and space, don't be fooled by the Shoggoths. The devotees are over-joyed at their return, and welcome them with open arms. The conflict among the devotees is that the primary character has rejected the A:O his entire life. He left his home only to return when his mother passed. Later it's discovered that his father killed her, she was attempting to warn her son what lay ahead. His father is the Priest, ushering the devotees to welcome the Shoggoths in. The entire story revolves around his son, because he has left, and he is homosexual. Thus, he would not produce an aire. His aire is likened to the Christ, for he will rule the new era of Shoggoths and men. An aire, produced by the product of rape and born on the Walpurgisnacht or May Eve (Beltane
Later Santa Walburga). This symbolism is significant, in terms of fertility rites and the 'burning' represented by bale fires. It is represented by the gathering, rape, and the world in chaos (burning) in the film.
The film closes with a sacrifice of his lover to the Shoggoths, a cliff-hanger to leave the 'what if' to the imagination of the viewer. He raises his hand to strike, but does he? What would bring him from disbelief to belief? And would that new found belief equate to faith? He spent his whole life running from the horrors he knew deep within, what would turn-him around to embrace this life with the discovery of even deeper horrors?
A scan of the world during this epoch, shows that man is in chaos, insanity, people are killed, blood, death, and more death. Is this what the A:O have in store for us or is it a lie painted by the Shoggoths?
Are people aware of how to make the distinction between the A:O and Shoggoths in disguise?
The group A:O has been established to discuss the Old Ones. I recommend that we utilize it for this purpose. To explore the awakening of the A:O, what efforts we can make to accomplish this, and what this would mean for all of humanity.
In addition, Paint me a picture group has been established for working scenarios and furture-casting.
Universal Law, generally deals in ethics. For example, cannibalism, may be considered to be a universal law that is against human ethics; thus cannibalism is illegal in most countries, even those in which cannibalism is part of cultural tradition (such as that practiced by some African tribes and sects of Hinduism such as Aghori). Universal Law, could certainly be a part of one's subjective reality, but is not reality unto itself.
Are Natural laws reality?
Natural Law, set by nature, is considered to be universal. Gravity, for example. In the Classical era, Natural Law was used in philosophical modalities. The term 'Natural Law' is used in a variety of ways, as shown by the examples given. Laws of Nature, and Laws which analyze human nature to deduce moral behavior. Both, could make up subjective reality, but are not reality unto themselves.
How can we determine what is real?
As demonstrated by the film, THE MATRIX, what we believe to be real, is therefore real. What is real, becomes our reality. What is real, is supported by some sort of evidence we consider to be facts. Facts are not finite and often change with the introduction of new evidence. Thus, the more evidence we have, the more what is real changes.
Can you prove reality?
Is anything really proven? Evidence is lend to ideas to support them, but nothing is truly proven.
Is belief reality?
Yes. To include believing to the contrary of Natural and Universal Laws.
If I believe something enough, can it become real?
Yes. Consider for a moment a child manifesting monsters which wreak terror on them, manifested by their belief. The same could be true for any belief. Believe it enough, with fanaticism, and it certainly becomes real, and thus your reality.
Can belief as reality benefit me, or is it just some self-applied delusion?
Yes, and yes.
Apply a delusion, believe it, and manifest it. This is most beneficial when attempting to actualize something from your imagination. Consider for a moment, the imaginings of wonderous minds such as Leonardo Divinci. He sketched his imagination on canvas, and in the future, those daring pioneers believed zealously enough to manifest many of those imaginings.
Can I shape my world by believing my reality to manifest?
You certainly could. It would take sorting out what you believe, how you imagine you could manifest it, and taking actions to make it to manifest but certainly possible. The more you believe the more you increase your probability of manifesting what you imagine and believe in.
Want to know more?
www.cultofcthulhu.net, Inquire Within About Our Mentoring Program
I question the idea that Belief is Reality, as in if you believe it then it is real. No it is not real.
In my paradigm I see two worlds: there is the world of potentiality, this is the world that Cthulhu and other egregores inhabit, then there is our world of actuality, the one of matter and science. Where CoC fits in, as per the words of Venger Satanis:
"Belief is one thing. Result is another. Where the two meet... that's the Cthulhu Cult's domain."
CoC sits at the bridge between worlds, one foot in potentiality and one in actuality. This idea follows the Celtic Tradition when the Celt would walk in both worlds at the same time, where the close connection was bridged by the mind of an agent, usually the self. However, both worlds are separate and have their own rules. Belief belongs to the world of potentiality, and Reality belongs to actuality.
The world of potentiality is spoken of by Plato, it is the world of Forms, whilst he saw actuality as a mere shadow, a corrupted image of a Form, a particular as he called it. It may indeed be seen that this world of actuality is but a shadow, an illusion, but then so is our body, and all the particulars of this world are subject to the laws of science, so if I shoot you then you will bleed or die.
If I was to think that one bar of gold bullion would manifest in front of me, I have placed an image of what I want into the world of potentiality, it exists, but it is only real in potentiality, not in actuality. Now to make this image real, to manifest into reality, then I will have to do some work, to act as the agent of its creation so that at some point the bar of gold will manifest as actuality in front of me. What I am saying is:
1. there is a delay of perhaps years for an image from potentiality to become real in actuality.
2. there is work involved to make such an image manifest.
It is not enough to believe a thing, one must work towards it and it rarely is instant in manifestation. To actually state "Belief is Reality" is not so, for the thing that is believed has yet to manifest, and may never do so if the work is not invested in creating it.
CoC has a part to play as a Demiurge, a bridge between the two worlds to help the individual to manifest their full human potentiality into actuality, the metaphor of the acorn becoming the oak tree.
The current generation of Satanists and Satanic organizations is a sad state of affairs. There’s more verbal diarrhea in Satanist forums than thoughtful exchange of ideas. Most Satanists can’t take criticism and can’t resist criticizing others. Perhaps that’s because Satanism is not only appreciated by misfits, outsiders, and dark occultists…but people of an adolescent mindset. I happen to think the secularization of Satanism is making the problem worse. Yes, Satanism is swiftly falling into profane hands.
Popularity! O, to be popular and well-liked. Currying the favor of the masses is always a mistake. Anything that quickly catches on should be carefully scrutinized because there can be only one cause. That which abruptly flourishes must appeal to man’s basest instincts. It signals the quick and easy route to self-satisfaction. And while indulgence is a wonderful thing, the road to get there should not be effortless.
This means that a group which is actually accomplishing something should be rather unpopular, shouldn’t it? And why is that? Because work is unpopular; making real-world efforts to create change for the better is difficult and unrewarding in the short term. Instant gratification is popular, applying oneself slowly and surely is almost vilified in today’s society. So, it’s no wonder that worthless groups are more popular than their counterparts which make a slow and steady difference in the world.
Let me ask you Satanists something…Is your organization fascist? Is it mob-rule under a dictator’s oppression? Are there insecure, “elite” intellectuals at the top and confident, overly-aggressive gorillas at the bottom? Is your group intolerant, vindictive, dogmatic, close-minded, insular, hateful, and paranoid? Does the “leadership” refuse to lead its members anywhere fruitful, but instead loudly proclaim some impotent party line?
Any misanthrope knows that human beings disappoint. Man has infinite potential and utterly squanders this potential on a daily basis. He is short-sighted and greedy, like an animal. Luckily, there is the possibility for something better. Human beings have superior qualities, faculties which he somehow possesses that lift him above the common beast. These noble aspects are usually well hidden, but they do exist.
What I’m saying is that a religious group needs to approach its very existence with caution. Religious groups need a reason to exist. That reason should be linked with a higher cause; not man’s coarsest, most contemptible drives.
So, if lowest common denominator man is creating an organization, then it’s safe to assume that it will be disappointing as well. Then how does one safeguard against adding yet more garbage to the refuse pile of churches and leagues? Spiritual foundation!
Imagine building a house without an architect. No architect, no architect’s plan. No architect’s plan and suddenly everyone is running around with incongruent ideas about how this house should be built. Naturally, this architect is a metaphor for Satan (although any God or Godlike entity will do). This grand designer has an overall plan, but that alone is not enough. To build a house, one also needs a general contractor – someone to watch and supervise the house’s construction, making sure that the laborers are following the architect’s plan.
So we have Satan (the architect) and the High Priest (the general contractor), along with priests, acolytes, bishops, etc. (various micro-managing supervisors). I’m not saying that one is better than another because obviously the general contractor is nothing without the painters, plumbers, and electricians.
Unfortunately, modern Satanism is starting to become known as atheistic Satanism. Without a religious aspect to keep a group cohesive and focused, organizations have to find alternative means. Otherwise, there would be nothing holding an organization together. Every collective needs a unifying force, and if this force is not spiritual (what I mean by spiritual is a purpose beyond man’s basest desires), then it is solely material. Very materialist which means we’re talking about power and control over others, putting “the group” on a pedestal to be worshiped as God. And this new Godlike group which can do no wrong is now a haven for arrogant, power mongering egoists.
Every successful organization needs a goal or mission statement. With or without a goal, groups will create some kind of agenda of their own. That’s just the nature of things. It’s better to consciously address the reason for creating an organization in the first place. And along the way, these goals need to be re-examined. Is the group actively pursuing that goal or has their mission statement gone by the wayside?
Most Satanists and Satanic organizations lack quality goals. And it’s no wonder because once you take Satan out of the equation, then all you have is a bunch of human beings – each with their own needs, desires, neuroses, and agendas. There is nothing to unify the group. Nothing is crystallized. Well-meaning intentions and a solid philosophy will only take a group so far.
Satanism is a religion. Some may say it’s a religion of flesh. Some believe it to be a religion of darkness and the unknown. Others think it’s a religion of power or maybe fear. Satanism is probably all of these, actually. However, taking away the religious element leaves it crippled…a mere socio-political philosophy, a disgruntled pack of humans with a common aesthetic. Nothing more!
Now, I’m not about to proselytize theistic Satanism because there’s problems with that too. Satanists who want nothing more than to worship Satan and sublimate themselves to some Godlike being are not truly following the Satanic code either. Satanist groups that create an entire paradigm of overly religious, bureaucratic celestial nonsense are just as bad as Satanic atheists. Satanism is not the colorful pageantry of Catholicism except reversed. Just because Satanism is a religion doesn’t mean that Satanists should treat their religion in the same way that conventional religions do. A Satanist views Satan as his brother and friend, not something to be enslaved by.
Recognizing a Godlike force such as Satan, and allowing oneself to be influenced by this higher power, is enough. Satanism is above humanism. There is something special about it, something sacred. Can Satanism not enjoy something between the ivory tower and the muck in the street? We need a degree of realistic practicality, but we also need to set our sights on nobler endeavors. Somewhere between man and God is the Superman, as Nietzsche wrote. Satanism is the religion of the Superman. Neither totally mundane nor divine, human beings must traverse the bridge. We must be tried by the fire. Our religion takes man as he is…a flawed being. These “flaws” can be our strength or man’s downfall. It depends on the individual and his behavior. Satanists, by their very nature, should be constantly self-improving. Satanism is the religion of evolution.
The Satanic Code
1.Satanists take an active role. They live by their own set of rules, trying to get the most out of life. Satanism is an aggressive religion and Satanists focus on obtaining their desires.
2.Satanism is open-minded. While skeptical, the Satanist knows that he doesn’t have all the answers; there are many things unknown to him. The world doesn’t make sense. It’s only through individual realities that the Satanist can understand the world and his place within it.
3.Satanism is closely tied to the ego. This character (or perhaps character flaw) defines Satanism. Individualism is a strength, but it has limitations. The Satanist’s Will flows from the ego. He recognizes that part of the universe revolves around him; however, the Satanist should remember that it is only a small part. Yes, there is a greater power outside!
-March 6,2010, Venger Satanis"
Consider how much power an Egregor is given with plural belief, vs. singular belief.
I added an example to the Memetics group yesterday:
500 years, and going strong. The Llorona is fueled by masses of believers. The cohesion of group belief and effort, shapes the reality of an entire culture. This is just one example, there are many I can think of.
Now imagine taking the individual beliefs, to a group for cohesion of belief to manifest reality. While we are individuals, and may want different things in our own realities, we can find some commonalities - as humans often do. It is there, in the organization of chaos, that we might benefit.
Belief as Reality - this single idea can be instrumental in inspiring you to act in your own life. This idea, is lended support by many minds, vs. one mind. A group belief, vs. a solitary belief. Imagine what impact a belief can have on culture. Imagine it. Believe in it. Make it manifest. Your WILL in action.
What would a free man do?
What would an awakened man do?
What would Satan do?
Take it back. Take back Satan. Hang no white flag upon your door.
The internet is just a tool, and real life is where the LHPer should be expressing their path.
I doubt this is much of a problem for pro-active LHPer, but I have seen in many LHP paths a stupid idea that the participant thinks that their expression of the LHP starts and stops at the internet. The internet is a means to an end, a tool, the LHPer is unable to grow by just living in cyberspace. The internet serves five purposes:
place of knowledge.
It is absurd that a LHPer can claim to be a mover and shaker of the LHP on the basis of their internet activity, as where it happens is in real life. The LHPer thinks they are the business when they play some macho man or woman on internet forums, and yet if one were to look at them in real life, they are a mess, a failure and far from expressing growth and the LHP in their real lives they do the exact opposite.
Unless you are expressing and doing your LHP beliefs in your real life then your path is worthless regardless of your position online.
What is most important in our lives? I think it’s time to get right down to the center, to the core…yes, to the heart of the matter. What do we currently value the most and how does that answer differ from what we consciously know is utterly essential? In other words, what do we really want and how do we get it?
If you are like most people, then you are preoccupied by money, your job, your social network, your love life, and having a comfortable living. These things are certainly worth paying attention to; they have value. However, beyond these mundane needs there is a greater need. Some may call it spiritual, but it isnâ€™t necessarily tied to any kind of religion. Spiritual is sometimes a euphemism for ‘intangible’. The struggle and eventual reward that I’m discussing now is intangible. You can’t see it, hear it, smell it, taste it, or feel it. Yet, it still exists. It is real…and perhaps the only thing in this world that truly is real.
Escape from our prison!
Cthulhu is a being from another time and place. He is quite alien to our dimension and His race gave mankind a chance to grow outside the normal confines of Mother Nature. Some acknowledge Dread Cthulhu as a metaphor or symbol while others see Him as a real entity or force trying to push awake and rise from the depths. Both theories are valid, but the important thing is that Cthulhu’s condition is similar to ours. He is not dead, only dreamingâ€¦ waiting for when circumstances allow Him to Awake, and from there all manner of changes will occur.
The Sleeping God represents such qualities as power, endurance, determination, will, creativity, alienage, and hedonism. When Dread Cthulhu wakens, He shall teach His chosen people new ways to kill and revel. Cthulhu’s element is fire. This is also why Lovecraft described Him trapped beneath the ocean in the corpse city of R’leyh. The element of water is a perfect prison for our Drowned Lord.
The idea of a prison is also something that Cthulhu and man have in common. We are both prisoners. Our generally accepted reality is only one kind of prison. It’s easy to see how man cannot easily break free from the society and culture which surrounds him. However, an even more insidious prison contains us! Man is not Awake, not conscious, he cannot do, he can only react. He has no self-awareness and is more or less in a sleeping state. This is not so easy for people to understand, so I will elaborate.
Take yourself, for example. You are made up of a long list of drives, desires, and needs. And as you are still an animal, these drives take precedence over your individuality. Your drives, desires, and needs create masks for you to wear in order to satisfy them. Everything you want in life is your mask or false front; and the frightening thing is that it wears you rather than the other way around. You as an individual do not exist; all that exists is your various disguises. So, your lust creates a lustful persona for you to adopt, your fear of heights creates an acrophobic persona for you to adopt, and your hunger for positive recognition creates a wanting-to-be-liked persona that you eventually become. And in the end, there is no more “you”…merely your masks.
If there is no “you”, then where exactly are “you”? It is buried, asleep. Chances are you haven’t been the real “you” in a long, long time. Your collection of masks merely carries out mechanical reactions to what your drives, desires, and needs are.
Is this any way to live? Hell no! Why would anyone choose to accept a life in prison once they knew it existed? They wouldn’t, simple as that. So now that you know you are in prison, thereâ€™s only one option open: escape. To escape our prison, we need to remember ourselves. That means we have to put away our masks and remember the essential part of ourselves that almost never finds its way to the surface.
So how do we remember ourselves? Start by observing. Watch the self as if we were looking at our self from a distance. We must observe our outer self, as well as, our inner self. Our outer self is what we do physically, the way we rest our hand, the position of our feet, the words we speak, etc. Our inner self is everything that we are thinking and feeling. Both of these worlds must be watched closely. At first, we must avoid the temptation to judge because then it’s easy to overcompensate and start deceiving ourselves; we focus on the wrong things. For now, just observe and take notes.
The first thing we notice is the struggle to begin this work. We make all kinds of excuses, or rather, our masks create excuses for us to use…for they are our current masters, not ourselves. We think that we are already Awake, that we don’t need to put forth the effort. Once these various roadblocks are removed, we can initiate a tremendous change.
The second thing we notice is that prolonged self observation is difficult. It is easy to become distracted. Our masks get in the way, a particular mask reminds us to fulfill its need and then another mask requires us to do the same. Self observation is the time to take off our masks.
The third thing we notice is how strange this new state feels. It is like peering into the void and when one looks long enough, one becomes the void. There is a feeling of calm, of control which we never experience in “real life”. Self-Remembering makes us more conscious, it wakes us up a bit. Now that we are Awake, we can act for ourselves without the masks. This is a pure state above reality. When we Awake, so does Dread Cthulhu! Transcendence starts at home with our selves. The stars will not be right for Him until they are right for us. After months of struggle, we have a basic idea of the situation’s gravity, then the importance of escaping from our prison is foremost in our minds. Now that we have a taste of freedom, we can assist our Dark Father with His battle to Awaken. There are three paths for us to change reality and thereby stir the Great Old Ones…
ritual ceremonies of black magic
spreading the word
The act of creation is powerful tool. Artists not only express their deepest thoughts and feelings, they also play with reality itself. Art changes the world by influencing others. The canvas, the written word, the stage, the song…all these are tiny mirrors reflecting reality. When our personal mirrors change, the giant reality that it is reflecting actually changes.
Another way of altering reality is through sorcery. Black magicians enter into a state of gnosis, not unlike the Self-Remembering state of Awakening. This gnosis or personal revelation has a way of transforming reality. It affects the magician’s subjective reality to the point where objective reality (to a certain degree) is altered. Again, we can think of the magician himself as a small mirror. The personal mirror can change the great mirror of reality.
These ideas are not new. They are, in fact, ancient. Every esoteric school has the same goal, but alternate ways of reaching it. This teaching cannot exist in a vacuum. It must be experienced and shared. Changing one person’s reality is an amazing success, but it’s not enough to change the entire world. Spread the word! Tell others about your personal work, struggles, breakthroughs, and the Cult of Cthulhu. Contact me about forming a local chapter or Grotto in your locality. A single cultist working alone can do little, even if Awake, which is why this forbidden lore must grow and bear terrifyingly potent fruit."
Read it 3 times.
Read that last line aloud.
Is any of this, for humanity? Or, is it for ourselves? How many? A few? One or two? Can all people desire to awaken? Should they?
When I live my life, all of it, is for me. If I happen to infect others by proxy, it's a matter of happenstance. I don't presume to think that a single word I speak, or I write, lingers on the mind of a single person beyond the momentary contact of mind-to-mind intelligence.
Each day, is a new day, but it is very much like the day before, and the day before that, and it will most likely be tomorrow. This is the immediate reality, the reality of routine, the reality of the grind of the machine. If I seek to break away from this routine, to abandon the shell of my automation, what we are really talking about here, is an escape. An escape from the immediate reality, and building a new reality to exist in, even if only temporarily. I create these new realities, through artistic expression, through the exploration of my own mind, but when I am finished with this momentary escapism, the immediate reality sets in once more. This is not enough, there should be more, and in acquiring more there is work. Even the work can become routine, automated, and replaces one grind with another, and then another, and another.
In building a new world, the old world must be destroyed. It's not enough to escape it, to create portals within it....NO. The world must be annihilated. The system of organization, brought down into chaos, to be organized once more into something entirely new. I can move from state to state, and build a new machine, but to escape the machine all together means to transcend this existence into the next. So what's next? Death? Nothingness? Some new fantasy to explore?
Fantasy serves a need, for a time. Then the material reality sets in to remind us of our self-applied delusions. I can believe what I like, create a new imagined reality for myself, but unless it serves a material purpose - what good is it?
Cthulhu lays trapped under a watery prison, much like I am trapped by this material reality. In order to create a new world, I must see myself in it, for if belief is reality, then I must believe in my ability to create it, and make it manifest.
I see myself in this immediate reality, striving towards the new. This can not happen over night, for this material reality is very much attachment by my choices.
I choose to live as I am, based on the choices of my past. The path ahead rolls out before me with each step I take towards that fantasy I seek to make real. If I forget my fantasy, get caught up in the grind of the machine, that path may roll out behind me and keep me back-stepping.
Artistic expression is a way of remembering. Sorcery, is a method by which I may see the fantasy more vividly, and sharing my words are nothing more than an exercise in reminding. Shared perspective is a tool, one that we might all benefit from using. I may not always see the distractions, especially when I'm indulging in them, and you may not see yourself distracted until another is there to remind you.
Enjoyment of life is the first and foremost of my fantasy, and I make every effort to find enjoyment in it. The remainder of the time, is Work. There have been many moments in my life where I could sit back and say "I'm living the dream", but then that dream is no longer satisfying, and so I see new dreams ahead. Acquisition can become akin to collecting. Collecting dreams, can also become routine. "What's next?" speaks the little voice in my head. Re-invent yourself, says one 'I', "find a new hobby" , says another, "what's left on your bucket list?" questions another, and the master 'I' says..."all in good time".
What the hell you want, can change as easily as the hands on the clock. What I want today, may not be what I want tomorrow, and so I keep the long term goals in my sights always, and focus rather on the little things which often change with the seasons.
I long for the inspiration, to know what I want today.